Written by Pastor Brandon Sereg, Lead Pastor of Vibrant Church in Davie, FL.
Nobody searches this topic casually. If you’re here, there’s a name attached.
Ephesians 4:32 · NLT
“Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”
That’s the verse most people land on. Before we get to the rest of them, we need to clear something up, because more damage gets done with this topic than almost any other in the Bible.
Four Things Forgiveness Is Not
It is not saying what happened was okay
Forgiveness never renames the offense. It doesn’t downgrade it to a misunderstanding. You can forgive someone and still say plainly that what they did was wrong, because it was.
It is not the same as reconciliation
Forgiveness takes one person. Reconciliation takes two, and it requires the other person to change. You can complete your part and still be waiting on theirs — possibly forever.
It is not trust, and it is not access
Forgiveness is free. Access is earned. You can release someone completely and still change the locks. Those two things are not in conflict, and anyone who tells you they are is misreading the Bible.
It is not a feeling you wait for
If you wait until you feel like forgiving, you’ll wait for the rest of your life. Forgiveness in Scripture is a decision that the feelings eventually catch up to. Sometimes years later.
Unforgiveness is often described as drinking poison and hoping someone else suffers. The person who hurt you may be sleeping soundly tonight. The question is whether you are.
Bible Verses About Forgiveness
Colossians 3:13 · NLT
“Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.”
The logic of the whole New Testament on this subject sits in one sentence. Not forgive because they deserve it. Forgive because you’ve been on the receiving end of something you didn’t deserve either.
1 John 1:9 · NLT
“But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.”
This is the one people search when the person who needs forgiving is themselves. Note the word faithful — it describes something reliable and repeatable, not a mood God has to be caught in.
Matthew 18:21-22 · NLT
“Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times? No, not seven times, but seventy times seven!”
Peter thought seven was generous; the rabbis taught three. Jesus gives a number nobody can track on purpose. Once you’re counting, you’ve stopped forgiving and started keeping a ledger.
Psalm 103:12 · NLT
“He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west.”
North and south have poles — go far enough and you start coming back. East and west never meet. The psalmist chose the one direction with no return trip, and he chose it deliberately.
Mark 11:25 · NLT
“But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins too.”
Jesus ties forgiveness to prayer, which is a practical instruction more than a threat. Carrying a grudge into prayer is like trying to have a conversation with a phone that’s still on a call with someone else.
Luke 23:34 · NLT
“Jesus said, Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.”
He said this while they were still doing it. No apology had been offered, nothing had been made right. If forgiveness required the other person’s repentance first, this sentence could not exist.
The Hard One
There’s a verse people run into and get stuck on, so let’s not pretend it isn’t there.
Matthew 6:14-15 · NLT
“If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
Read carefully: the word is refuse. Not struggle. Not take years. Not need help getting there. Jesus is describing someone who has decided against it and shut the door — not someone who is trying and finding it hard. If you’re on this page at all, you are almost certainly in the second group.
How to Actually Start
Forgiveness usually doesn’t happen in one moment. But it does have a pattern worth writing down.
Name the person. Out loud or on paper — specificity matters, because vague forgiveness forgives nobody. Tell God you forgive them, including the part where you don’t feel it yet. Ask God to bless them, which is the hardest sentence you’ll say and the one that does the most work. Then, when it comes back up next week, do it again. That’s not failure. That’s the seventy-times-seven.
If what happened to you was abuse
This page is not telling you to go back, to stay, or to give anyone access to you. Forgiveness is free; access is earned. You can forgive someone fully and never be alone with them again, and Scripture does not ask otherwise.
If you are in danger right now, call 911. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-7233, and the National Sexual Assault Hotline is 1-800-656-4673 — both free and 24/7. Please also consider a licensed counselor. Forgiveness and healing from trauma are two different kinds of work, and you deserve help with both.
You Don’t Have to Sort This Out Alone
Most people carrying something like this have never actually said it out loud to another human being. That’s usually the step that unsticks it.
If you’re in Broward County, you’re welcome at Vibrant. No pressure, no spotlight, nobody’s going to ask you to share anything. Just a seat and people who’ve had their own long list.
Related: Isaiah 41:10 · Bible Verses About Strength · Healing Scriptures · 2 Timothy 1:7
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